I woke up feeling stuck. Disappointed in myself. My inner critic was having a raucous morning, sharing all the ways I haven’t measured up.
Every feel this way? Silly question, I know. If you’re human, you’ve not only experienced “stuck” but also the ravages of the inner critic. The inner critic is the voice in your head that tries to keep you safe by berating, belittling and bullying you into staying small, and stuck.
Must have been a huge thing, you might be thinking, on which my competent-self got stuck… Well, no. I’ve wanted to get my bi-weekly blog (yes, this one) going on a set schedule, with inspirational or helpful posts to you and my mailing list. I have set my intentions, brainstormed ideas (via guided writing, one of my favorite tools), and scheduled the ‘sweep’ in MailChimp that pushes my posts. Wednesday is my ‘scheduled’ post day, which means working on or editing the draft on Tuesday. As of earlier today (Thursday), I had failed to do all those things necessary and instead excelled at feeling disappointed in myself.
With the help of a friend and fellow coach (thank you, Lisa), I was able to get past stuck. How? Well, some gentle inquiry into what I was stalled on, and realizing I was unintentionally working against myself by name-calling my newsletter.
My first obstacle was getting stuck on a notion that my posts needed (otherwise known as “should”) be more business-y and corporate sounding to establish my bona fides and be useful. In fact, my posts on my personal blog are much more soulful and authentic, because that’s what I want them to be.
Then I remembered the fundamental reason why I wanted to leave my corporate job: I wanted to have more space for authentic, creative, personal – soulful – work. I can do the “business-y” thing but so can others; my work is guided by blending of all my linear, analytic, rational thinking and experience with intuition, creativity, and a huge dollop of faith in setting clear intentions. This is what I bring to my coaching clients too.
What “should” are you holding that is guiding the way you are approaching a project, a role, or a relationship in a way that might be unknowingly limiting your voice and creativity?
We are hired for jobs that can leverage our talents. But make no mistake: leaving our creativity and authentic voice out of the equation shortchanges our work products and ourselves.
As for working against myself, when I set out early in the week with a “must do” approach to my “f*ing blog,” I was setting up an adversarial role with my own intentions, thoughts and ideas. Goofy as it may sound, I needed to make friends with this idea of a bi-weekly newsletter, and approach it as a “get to” activity. I love to write, and when I breathe and relax, I remember that I “get to” write about the things that are important to me and which I think you might find useful or interesting.
How might you be inadvertently creating a hostile environment for your intentions? Can you find a thread of gratitude that might shift you from “have to” to “get to” take steps towards them?
Finally, I agreed to keep working on this until mid-January when I’ll evaluate my efforts. I need a little more time ‘behind the wheel’ to know whether I’m quitting in fear or reluctance, or genuinely believe there are better uses for my time and energies.
We all get stuck sometimes. We all feel disappointed with ourselves occasionally. By taking a few minutes to notice what is going on, perhaps while working with a coach, we can see the ways we can lighten our own load.
If working with me sounds like it might be helpful, let’s talk!
Susan